17 years ago today I married my best friend, my ‘person’ and the father of my future children in the amazing Florida sun. We had the most amazing 2 weeks and it was when we decided that we wanted to start a family. I can remember as we were getting on the monorail at Epcot saying “I’d really like to have a baby” and my new Mr H saying “OK!”.
We never discussed how many we were going to have and 1, 2 and 3 followed in quick succession and we had 3 children under 5. I was never going to have 3 children, as I always felt that someone would be left out which lead to our 4th child. My desire to have “just one more” was still there and my favourite line of “you’ll never regret having one, but you would regret not having one” swayed our 5th.
I’m a great believer in things happening for a reason, even if it’s difficult to see that reason at the time. I didn’t want to look back in 10 years and say “I wish we had had another child”. For a short while, I felt that maybe our family was complete, but then the desire for another came back stronger than ever. Life threw a few curved balls our way which only heightened my want for another eventually giving us our 6th.
I don’t especially enjoy being pregnant and although our 6th wasn’t text book (like the others) it was the most enjoyable pregnancy I had, feeling content and some days forgetting I was even pregnant! I love giving birth (crazy I know) but for me life doesn’t get more real and magical than that moment.
After the birth of our 6th baby, because of complications, I felt confident that our family was complete. However, over the last few months that feeling of “just one more” has reared it’s head, and really once you have 6 children, what is one more?
It’s difficult to tell yourself that your family is complete when you’re not so sure. I believe it’s a decision that you need to come to by yourself, no one can tell you you’re done (unless medically the decision is taken away). I know that we are incredibly blessed to have the most amazing family and it seems very selfish to want more and in some ways wouldn’t it be nice to have a switch that you could turn off! For me, being a mum is everything, and what I’m meant to do.
Whatever the future has in store for us, whether our family is complete or not, who knows?!? – I’m pretty sure Mr H would say we’re done, although he’s been saying that since 2! Life, right now is great, and for that I have the man who has stood beside me through the best and worst times of my life to thank. I am rich in so many ways and when my time comes, there will be no regrets!
Am I the only crazy in the village who will always want just one more?!